i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
