her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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