butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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