It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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