the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The beer is more important than you right now.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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