is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
