It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
