I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize