I want to make a zoo with you.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
