You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
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We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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