obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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