Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
