who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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