But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I end up in the pool?!
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I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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