He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
