talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
