She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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