I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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