Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
