So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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