Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
