i can juggle bunnies
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer