Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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