maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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