these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
