i just wanna soil my oats bro
He is an equal opportunity slut.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
