I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
