The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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