I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
