I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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