Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
