I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
