I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
