So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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