meet me or not, i'm out of control
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
