Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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