I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
