There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I bet he comes in French.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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