Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
