ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
