Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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