So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
