Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
There's even glitter on my cock...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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