I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
high people should be assigned attendants
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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