So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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