Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
