Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
where are my pants?
in the oven.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
