i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize
