we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
You smell like stripper and shame
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
