i think my tv is drunk
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
