his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You ruined the universe
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
