Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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