dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.