guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
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I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
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He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.