She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Randomize
