I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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