I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Michael Bay diarrhea
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I want to be your penis for a week.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
