Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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