Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
