So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize