I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
