Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
