i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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