we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize