So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Be still, my beating vagina.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize