we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
